Terrible Couple of Months
So I thought I was pregnant. Went to the doctor. I had a miscarriage. I'm ok with this, just nature's way ...if I had been further along or really trying to get pregnant I would have been devastated. However, my doctor put me on some hormones to start my period because before I got pregnant... I hadn't had a period since August. That's way too long. I haven't had a good night's sleep since. The pills were 10 days long and supposed to start my period.. well.. the night before last I took my last one and no period. I don't get it. I wish I had gotten home early enough to call the gyno, but I got home right at 5:30 (boo). I'm feeling extremely dehydrated. I prayed all night last night because I was feeling strange... not exactly bad, just strange. I keep thinking something is REALLY wrong with me. Like everything is scaring me. If I have a headache.. I'm having a stroke (because I'm on hormones). If my leg hurts it's because there is a blood clot in it. It's like I'm seeing all the possible ways I could die in every situation. It's major anxiety. I've always been like this to a certain extent, but could shut it off now and again and go for a few days without imagining my death, but now it's constant. I don't know if it's the medicine or the fact that every second I'm either feeling nauseous, or in some mild discomfort (whether it be pain or a strange feeling). I don't like this. I don't think Patrick knows it's as bad as it is. He spent some extra time hugging me this morning before he went to work because I said I felt strange and I was worried. He said he'd call me throughout the day. I just want to feel normal.